1. Do not kill yourself. Killing yourself is very messy and your mother will cry over you. It is not beautiful or brave, and even if it was, you will not be around to see that.

2. Washing your hair is going to be a chore. But you should do it anyway. Because you will feel better about yourself.

3. Get up late. Have a lay in. Sleep past your alarm. You have a very long life ahead of you and for now you should appreciate the cold side of your pillow.

4. He is going to break your heart but he’s just another male human who finds it hard to deal with Mondays, too. So in a month you’ll wake up and you won’t even remember that little scar on his knuckle you kissed.

5. Don’t spend hours looking up what your name means on google. Your name is your name and you should go out there and do heroic and good deeds and give your name your own meaning.

6. Don’t fight your demons. Your demons are here to teach you lessons. Sit down with your demons and have a drink and a chat and learn their names and talk about the burns on their fingers and scratches on their ankles. Some of them are very nice.

7. Music is good for your soul. Rap music will energise you and boost your ego and pop music will cheer you up. Indie music will make you think and emotional songs will make you cry and think about that boy again. It’s healthy.

8. Victim complexes are not attractive. Boys and girls will not date you because you are sad. They are not going to date you and kiss your aching bones and cure you of your dragging depression. Wake up. Take a bath. Do your hair. Be attractive.

9. Sadness is not poetic. Depression is not beautiful. Laying in bed all day and eating too much is lazy and disgusting and it is not tragic or pretty. Get up. Go outside. Let the sun warm your bones. Live.

10. If it makes you happy, buy twenty of it. Dedicate your life to it. Print it on tv shirts and collect things and draw art of it. Do not care what people think. They are the unhappy people you need to avoid. The abuse they will hurl at you is painless compared to how sad they are. Pity them. Remain happy.

11. You are allowed to he angry. But the world is not working against you. The flowers do not bloom for you and when your mother shouts ask her if she is okay instead of thinking she hates you. She never will. The world walks beside you and is silent. It does not trip you up or carry you.

12. Day and night cycles are natural. Humans only sleep at night because we used to avoid predators in the dark because of our poor eyesight. Stay awake until 5am watching bad reality shows. Wake up at 7pm and have breakfast.

13. Eat when you are hungry. Being bored does not constitute a chocolate bar. Sleep with you are tired. Do not mindlessly obey the sleep at night rule. If you are not tired, do not sleep.

—

Lapfoxs (via lapfoxs)

(via 2amconversations)

dear samantha
i’m sorry
we have to get a divorce
i know that seems like an odd way to start a love letter but let me explain:
it’s not you
it sure as hell isn’t me
it’s just human beings don’t love as well as insects do
i love you.. far too much to let what we have be ruined by the failings of our species

i saw the way you looked at the waiter last night
i know you would never DO anything, you never do but..
i saw the way you looked at the waiter last night

did you know that when a female fly accepts the pheromones put off by a male fly, it re-writes her brain, destroys the receptors that receive pheromones, sensing the change, the male fly does the same. when two flies love each other they do it so hard, they will never love anything else ever again. if either one of them dies before procreation can happen both sets of genetic code are lost forever. now that… is dedication.

after Elizabeth and i broke up we spent three days dividing everything we had bought together
like if i knew what pots were mine like if i knew which drapes were mine somehow the pain would go away

this is not true

after two praying mantises mate, the nervous system of the male begins to shut down
while he still has control over his motor functions
he flops onto his back, exposing his soft underbelly up to his lover like a gift
she then proceeds to lovingly dice him into tiny cubes
spooning every morsel into her mouth
she wastes nothing
even the exoskeleton goes
she does this so that once their children are born she has something to regurgitate to feed them
now that.. is selflessness

i could never do that for you

so i have a new plan
i’m gonna leave you now
i’m gonna spend the rest of my life committing petty injustices
i hope you do the same
i will jay walk at every opportunity 
i will steal things i could easily afford
i will be rude to strangers
i hope you do the same
i hope reincarnation is real
i hope our petty crimes are enough to cause us to be reborn as lesser creatures 
i hope we are reborn as flies
so that we can love each other as hard as we were meant to.

— Jared Singer

+my lips are a little bit burnt

+i haven’t written one of these in a while

+i had to go to school today to do test corrections for mr. yu so he can raise my grade 1.3% so i can have a C.

+i asked him about his cameras and he took unattractive pictures of me and we bonded a little and i realized i might miss sassing him all the time

+nish wrote me a letter and i got a little emotional 

+i talked to pelkey about how bert used to be a little queerish and how he’s changed a lot and how it’s weird but nice

+i gave him my senior portrait and told him i didn’t want to be lost in a sea of people so he put my picture next to the one of his kids

+we had brunch at tommers and he made me giraffe waffles and we played contact and ping-pong and blew bubbles that kept staining my dress 

+and we watch howtobasic videos for half an hour and laughed a lot

+i felt a little like a kid and also like a grownup and i’m kind of enjoying this strange transitional phase but not really

+everytime sanjeev and i hang out with kevin he takes us to black and brown

+we took sweety with us too this time cuz she had no friends on the last day of school

+she looked all pretty and grown up today this is not okay

+there is so much construction at the mall, why is everything getting better right as we’re leaving

+i am surrounded by change

+i’m also graduating tomorrow

+it’s exciting 

+but weird

I’m sorry we mistook emotional manipulation for love.

I finished off that half-eaten apricot on your plate

on graduation day because I wanted to swallow something

that had touched your mouth.

Here’s a funny joke without a great punchline: what’s

the difference between love and a nightmare?

Nothing. They both hurt so much in the beginning

that you wish they’d end as soon as possible.

Sadness can’t be fucked out of anyone, no matter

how hard the headboard shakes.

Scars are just memories that skin holds so dear

it got them tattooed beneath the surface.

I once saw a cop give a pair of boots

to a homeless man on the street. I think that giving

you my heart was kind of like that.

My cousin’s nose always starts bleeding when

he’s around the person he likes for some reason.

If I were him and you were next to me,

my hands would be so red you couldn’t tell the difference

between them and a sunset.

Loneliness and aloneness are independent of one another.

I didn’t kiss you because I wanted to;

I kissed you because I felt an obligation to,

like writing a thank-you card for someone who’s saved

you from jumping off a building twice.

Your father would be proud of you.

Serial killers usually regret killing their victims

seconds before the lethal injection is delivered.

I only wish regretting you

were fatal too.

Loving you hurt so much I had to pull the plug

on our relationship, but I ended up

shocking myself instead. I’ll never

touch a wall socket again.